Wait...I do, right? RIGHT?!?!
Well I can say I make a mean turkey now - probably wasn't always the case.
Here are my tricks:
In a bowl I combine 2 sticks softened butter, 2-3 TBSP EVOO, S&P, chopped fresh sage to taste (I use a good handful because I'm a huge fan), and a lil flat-leaf Italian parsley, chopped, 1 garlic clove minced. I combine well and cover the outside of the turkey as well as under the skin and on top of the breast meat (this is of course after I removed the gizzards, etc, rinsed my bird and patted dry).
Then I stuff the cavity with the remaining sage, parsley, 1/2 lemon, whole crown of garlic, a couple of carrots, some celery stalks, 1/2 apple - whatever I have on hand. I throw the Gizzards, etc into the roasting pan along with the other half of my lemon and apple, some veggies, water, etc. I set my oven to 450 and let the bird brown - about 30-45 min.
Then after it's browned I flip the turkey so it cooks breast-down, in all of the juices. I turn my oven to 350. It's a great flavor and once you cook breast-down, I promise you will never go back to basting.